We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
