Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I just want to make out with him forever
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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