Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
