she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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