if only i could text you this smell
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
