I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
