Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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