we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
