I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
