went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
