Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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