I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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