were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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