shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
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