She said her name was "party"
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
