YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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