then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
