Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Randomize
