Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
How external is "for external use only"?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
