I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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