Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
We need to get me chipped asap
Randomize
