So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Randomize
