i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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