this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
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