If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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