Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
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