it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
