I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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