Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
