Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Randomize
