there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
