Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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