Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
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