Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize