This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
