why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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