Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
