A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
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