He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
