Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Randomize
