let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I need to sanitize my soul.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize
