lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize