Betty ford says i'm here all night
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
