is your mom at the bar?
so explain again why im purple
no
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
