why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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