I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
