belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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