whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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