Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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