wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
