We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
