i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
