The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Randomize
