I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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