Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize