if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Randomize
