Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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