Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
