I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
