On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
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