I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
