I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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